Binge watching. Dressing gowns. Insanity. These are the words that come to mind when I think of what my week (month) has consisted of.
When I came home from college at the beginning of May I had a picture in my head that my summer would look something like this: a job that pays decently, seeing my friends all the time, sunshine, beach parties, shopping sprees due to the aforementioned job etc etc. Reality is a little less idyllic.
Job rejections, Netflix, pyjamas, severe lack of funds on top of living full time with my family, who are all also unemployed, and you’ve got everything you need for a severe case of post college cabin fever.
The first challenge is of course re-learning how to live with your family once the novelty of you finally being home has worn off and you are no longer a VIP guest but a lowly leach draining resources, which is difficult to say the least. I catch myself reverting back to my moody sixteen-year-old self, huffing and puffing around the house, slamming doors, bickering with my mum about laundry, it feels like I am a character in a crappy werewolf film and I’m fighting the transformation as best I can but it’s a full moon and I’m coughing up fur balls.
And this is only the tip of the iceberg in the summer that is stripping me of my humanity. I only change out of my p.js once a week. Today is the first day I’ve worn a bra in about 10 days and it’s hideous. I am never seen without my dressing gown on. This is something my whole family is guilty of. The neighbours and the post man must refer to us as “that weird dressing gown family, definitely something fishy going on in that house” A sighting of any of us outside in clothes would be dismissed and go down as local legend.
The tipping point, is not however when you lose your self-respect, it is when you begin, which you assuredly will if you find yourself in a similar predicament, to lose your mind. I find myself questioning whether or not my year of freedom at college was even real? Was it all just a dream? My emotional instability is so strong that I find myself weeping into my tin of biscuits watching re runs of Location, Location, Location. (Why couldn’t Kirstie and Phil just get it together, those crazy kids?!). On the rare occasions I do leave the house I am paranoid that people are staring at me, did I forget to wipe that pizza sauce off my face last week?
So, I have decided to attempt to clutch on to what remains of my dignity, but more importantly my sanity, I had notions of doing a couch to 5k, or charity work, an online course even, but then I thought no I shall relieve my boredom by doing what all millennials do when they don’t know what to do with themselves, writing a blog!! So, real world, if you are still out there, I hope this finds you well, and that one day I will be deemed stable enough to leave this mad house and re-join you.